How many times have you felt the nervous jitter in your belly as you go to pick up the phone … and then not made the call; paused before pressing send on that email … and then deleted it; sat waiting (reluctantly) for change to land on your doorstep?
Procrastination, resistance, delaying until ‘tomorrow’ … these are all the same thing. And the essence of them is a fear of change. We all do them, in varying degrees. And of course there are some things that can wait until tomorrow when there is more time or a more appropriate space.
But it is when the procrastination, the fear of change starts to take hold and become a more persistent and consistent ‘friend’ that we are affected by it in ways that may not serve us well.
Recently my mind has regularly gone to how I can best help people take the first step, step into courage, plunge into the unknown or even dip their little toe in. And to be completely honest, I’m still scratching my head a little on this one. I can offer a safe space, privacy and confidentiality, the safety of your own home (connection by zoom), compassion and wisdom, trauma informed support … but all of this is of no use if you are frozen and unable to make that leap (for even teeny tiny steps feel like leaps when we are stuck).
Resistance is an inability to accept … what? Change? Help? Support? Resistance ultimately causes us pain. And because we do not know what lies ahead if we take that step, we unconsciously believe the pain we are in (and often very familiar with) may not be as great as if we step out of it.
Given that we are constantly programming our subconscious through our thoughts and behaviours, maybe there is a way we can help ourselves move forward and become unstuck.
Some people find writing down what they are experiencing helpful.
For others getting out into nature helps calm the soul and senses.
Reaching out to a known person, that friend, family member or therapist you feel safe with and can confide with can offer support.
At the end of the day, resistance is a pattern we have fallen into. Or maybe it’s not; perhaps it’s one or more life experiences that have created the pattern. Either way, it IS possible to break repetitive cycles. It IS possible that change can be better than what is. It is possible to live life with curiosity, calm, joy and peace. It is even possible to wake each morning feeling well rested and excited about what that day will bring.
Don’t let the fear of change hold you back. You owe it to your soul to have the best life experience that you can. There ARE ways to dip your little toe into the shallow end, rather than plunge into the deep.